Splitting the rocks of ignorance that obscure the light of knowledge and truth. Now let's all get drunk and play ping pong.

e-mail me at dry_coldAThotmail.com

 
Another Reason to Watch the Playoffs

In the last few days, I've discovered something surprising, something that I've been repressing for about 10 years. What is this recovered memory, you ask? Why, it's unreserved hatred for the Anaheim Mighty Ducks. Frankly, I'm a bit shocked by the depth of my hatred. And it's not just because they could cost me $70 either.

My hatred goes back to when the Mighty Ducks came into the league in 1993. This was a time when the NHL was becoming increasingly "fan-friendly", to the dismay of the hardcore fans. That a team would take its nickname from a Disney movie was just another sign than the NHL cared more about marketing and cool uniform colours than it did about the quality of the game. It wasn't worth hating the Ducks in past years -- what was the point? But now that they're successful, nothing less than full-out rage will do. If you need more reasons to hate the Ducks, you can talk about their hideous maroon and green uniforms, which seemed to usher in an era of even more hideous uniforms (Nashville, Phoenix, etc.), their pretentious "official" name of the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim, and the fact that they play in a "Pond". Yes, this menace must be stopped.
posted by Austin at 5:28 PM

 
My Summer is Saved!

I don't know about you, but I was absolutely relieved when I heard this news.
posted by Austin at 11:32 AM

 
Shooting Fish in Barrel, Al Davis Division

Raider owner Al Davis had a lawsuit laughed out of court on Monday. The suit was brought by Davis against the Carolina Panthers and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers for wearing black and silver, and having a pirate logo, respectively. Copyright infringement, you understand. Michael Silver offers this hilarious take on the issue, including this paragraph:

With his clean-shaven head, gravity-defying game and flashy moves, Michael Jordan developed a signature look that has been copied by so many other hoopsters -- most blatantly by Toronto Raptors star Vince Carter, MJ's fellow North Carolina grad. I'd say MJ has a case, except he probably wouldn't have much luck arguing trademark-infringement in Canada, which once boasted a nine-team professional football league that included the Ottawa Rough Riders and the Saskatchewan Roughriders.

Always happy to see one of the more embarrassing parts of Canadian history noted for the whole world to see. No such thing as bad publicity, right? Right?
posted by Austin at 4:39 PM

 
NHL Playoffs, the Happy Version

As the first round ends, I'd like to take a moment to review the playoff situation from the only point of view that really interests me anymore, money. I've avoided writing about my hockey pool team until the first round was over, mainly because I didn't want to bring a lot of grief onto myself (you'll see why in a minute). As you'll recall, my strategy going into my draft was to focus on the Stars, Wings, Blues, Senators and Devils, with some top scorers from other teams thrown in for variety. But my basic strategy in any hockey draft is to figure out who's undervalued, and go after those players.

We held the draft on the second day of the playoffs, after the Oilers took game 1. Combined with the inevitable hometown feelings, this had the effect of overvaluing Oiler players, and undervaluing the Stars. I took Modano with my first pick, and didn't look back, adding Brenden Morrow and Jason Arnott in later rounds. I'm still waiting for the bolt of lightning to strike. There was 11 people in my draft, so my strategy of focussing on certain teams didn't really hold up. So I moved to my alternate strategy of picking top scorers off of various teams, especially those in the East. I ended up with Roenick and Gagne from the Flyers, and Lecavalier and St. Louis from the Lightning. I also picked Shanahan and Larionov from the Wings, plus Glen Murray just in case the Bruins won.

At about the midpoint of the first round, I was in big trouble -- all 10 of my players were on teams that were losing in their series -- and, as I do every year, I went around complaining about my chances and saying how much I hated my team. But thanks to some key comebacks, I'm looking pretty good, and no one in my office will ever take my whining seriously ever again. Right now, I'm in first place, plus I have 7 players still alive. The upsets sure helped -- a lot of guys went heavily for the Blues, Wings and Avalanche. It's funny, but I have no real predictions about might happen from here on in. I think the Stars will come out of the West, but I don't think it's as much of a sure thing as it has been in the past. From the East, I suspect the Devils will bore their way in. Although if the Flyers play anywhere near like they did in Game 7 against the Leafs, they'll make the finals, and make me some cold, hard cash.
posted by Austin at 5:08 PM

 
Post-Mortems

I've been avoiding the inevitable discussion of What Went Wrong for a few days now, but I guess it's time to go back to the Oilers. As far as the playoffs go, it's sad to see the Oilers lose in a series where there was a glimmer of hope that they could upset the Stars, but I don't find it particularly unexpected. I thought they'd lose in 5, so losing in 6 is actually a better-than-expected finish.

Looking back over the season, there were some good things that happened. I was impressed with the way in which some players played themselves into a starting job. Alexei Semenov, for example, came up from Hamilton in mid-season and never went back. He looked OK in the 3rd pairing, and there were some moments that made you think Wow. And there were some forwards that really made their case for sticking in the lineup. In the last few years MacTavish has rotated about 5 forwards in and out of the lineup just because nobody seemed to be better than anyone else. They were all kind of the same, except they had different haircuts. By the end of the year, though, the scratches were developing a pattern. It looks like Ales Hemsky, Marty Reasoner, Shawn Horcoff and perhaps even Fernando Pisani have grabbed spots in the starting lineup. Other players, like Comrie, York and Smyth, played well when healthy. And Marchant should be the team MVP this year.

On the bad side, I think Tommy Salo had some problems this year. Sure, there were good stretches, but there were some godawful ones in there too. I found Colby Cosh's thoughts on this matter particularly interesting. Not sure if I'm ready to endorse Colby's position of getting rid of Salo and installing Markannen as starter, but it has to be said that Tommy probably isn't getting any better. I'm just not sure if Jussi Markannen is Finnish for "Roman Turek".

Another bad thing is the financial situation. It simply won't allow the Oilers to develop past a certain point in the short term. For example, when Carter was traded (and I still think those were bad trades, even if the Oilers won two in the playoffs), there was much talk about how Hemsky had developed enough to take his place. This doesn't happen on most teams. On most teams, talent is added, not merely replaced. Right now, the Oilers have got a team that will get into the playoffs most years. It'll take each player upgrading their game for the Oilers to get better. That could happen if the owners allowed it, since the Oilers are the second-youngest team in the league, but more likely, the best players will get traded away, and the Oilers will be right back where they started from.

It's all very frustrating, which leads me to the worst thing about this season. I think many people are reasonably satisfied with the Oilers' season. It's the attitude that says "Sure they didn't win in the playoffs, but they played pretty well, and we got three home games" Heck, some days you can include me in that group. The financial situation is starting to create a culture of mediocrity, and it can only be so long before it infects the hockey team.
posted by Austin at 5:25 AM

 
Revenge is Sweet -- Pretty Cold, Though

Back in 1988, when Ben Johnson was stripped of his gold medal at the Seoul Olympics, I remember there being a fair bit of talk among Canadians about how the much-hated Carl Lewis (who took the gold when Johnson was banned) was also on the juice. I guess there was a lot of sour grapes among Canadians at the time, and the talk rumours seemed to morph into nothing more than sheer paranoia. Then comes this story:

At the 1988 Olympic trials [Carl Lewis] tested positive three times for small amounts of banned stimulants found in cold medications: pseudoephedrine, ephedrine and phenylpropanolamine. After first disqualifying Lewis from the Olympics, the USOC accepted his appeal on the basis of inadvertent use. Lewis went on to win gold at Seoul in the 100 meters and long jump. Lewis could not be reached, but his longtime manager, Joe Douglas, said Lewis had not taken anything to enhance his performance.

Hmmm...a sprinter using stimulants. Don't you think that would provide a little advantage? Apparently, even paranoids have real enemies.
posted by Austin at 5:21 PM

 
Southpaws and Portsiders

One of the most common searches that lead people to my site seems to be some combination of "left-handed", "nhl players", "golfers" and "percentage of". In light of Mike Weir's victory, Colby Cosh has picked up the theme, with a link that explains why hockey players are predominantly left-handed.

The dominant hand in hockey is the one on the butt end (top) of the stick. For years most people playing the sport shot left-handed which in most cases,not all, meant that they were right hand dominant (right hand on top). Conversely right hand shooters were mostly left hand dominant. This situation held until perhaps the 1980’s. It really made no difference what you were called when you held a stick years ago because they were all straight, they could have called left hand shooters "right hand shots", but they did not. So when a youngster picked up a stick, usually with the dominant hand and started to play, since most people are right handed, they were left hand shooters.

Interesting point, mainly because it confirms what I've thought for years. I'm a right-hander, yet I bat left, shoot left in hockey, and golf left. I can't claim physiological genius for this -- two of my older brothers did everything from the left side, and they were the ones who taught me how to bat, golf and play hockey, so it was only natural that I follow in their footsteps. But it's nice to know they were doing the scientifically right thing as well.

I've mentioned this here before, but it bears repeating. I would bet that Canada has a greater percentage of left-handed golfers than anywhere in the world, due primarily to hockey. Golf is a second sport for most, and if they've played hockey, they're more likely to shoot left-handed, and thus there's a greater chance that they'll golf left-handed as well.
posted by Austin at 8:48 PM

 
O Canada!, Part 2

What a day! A great start with curling and golf. Then mix in a rerun of the best Simpson's episode of all time. And for the finale, a 3-2 Edmonton win over Dallas. This might just go down as the best day of TV in my life.

Anyway, on to the game. Easily the best one I've seen the Oilers play in a while. Right from the start, you could tell they were really into it. The forwards skated and crashed all night long, creating a number of good chances. It took until the 3rd period for them to score, but after Laraque got the first one past Turco, the floodgates opened. Two very nice goals from Pisani and Dvorak followed. Actually, I thought the line of Reasoner, Moreau and Pisani had a great game at both ends of the ice. They were on Modano for much of the game, and they shut him down almost completely. That makes Pisani the star of the game in my books.

Meanwhile, Dallas didn't have much at all. Arnott had a decent goal, but their second one was the result of a bad bounce off Scott Ferguson's back. And when the defense let down, Salo was there to make the stop. His glove save on Lehtinen in the 3rd period was just huge. Things are looking pretty good, don't you think?
posted by Austin at 8:10 PM

 
O Canada!

I am setting new records in horizontality today, but it's been so worth it. First off was the World Mens' Curling Championship. Canada had a rough start -- it wasn't as though they were terrible, but they were off slightly, and with the Swiss skip playing so well, Canada was down 6-4 at the halfway point. But great teams find ways to win, and Canada did just that. They scored 1 in the 6th end, then stole 2 in the 7th to move ahead 7-6, stole 1 in the 8th end and to end it all, stole 2 in the 9th. Switzerland threw in the towel at that point, giving Canada a 10-6 victory. It was an impressive win -- even more impressive was the way they did it. Switzerland had the last rock advantage from the 7th end on, but Canada made tremendous shots and forced Switzerland into tough situations which they couldn't convert. Take a bow, Randy Ferbey, Dave Nedohin, Scott Pfeifer and Marcel Roque.

Next up was the Masters, where Mike Weir became the first Canadian, and first lefthander, to win. Watching the last 6 holes or so, I was just so impressed by Weir's absolute unflappability. That man has cold, cold, Canadian water running through his veins. He didn't necessarily make a lot of great shots, but at the same time, he didn't miss any either. Weir made some very clutch putts at the end, especially on the 18th to save par. They were tricky 4 to 6 footers, the kinds of putts that often decide championships, and when missed, tend to haunt a player for the rest of his career. I was a bit disappointed in the anticlimactic ending. I guess I was hoping for a big birdie putt, but Weir only needed a bogey to win it all. Len Mattiace put on a clinic in how to botch a playoff hole, putting his second shot behind a tree, then banging the ball around on the green like a weekend duffer. No matter, it's great times up here in Canada.

Let's hope the magic continues -- game 3 of the Edmonton-Dallas series is in 30 minutes. Time to order the pizza, and reacquaint myself with the couch.
posted by Austin at 4:32 PM

 
Game 2 Recap

Sorry, you won't be getting an educated recap on Game 2 from me. I had to attend a birthday party last night at the home of non-hockey fans (yes, they do exist in Edmonton). I think there should be some sort of social convention that automatically cancels all plans made before the release of the playoff schedule. I'm not surprised at what happened, though. It sounds like the Stars came out firing, and I guess you have to expect that from a good team that played poorly the other night. The reffing sounds like it was particularly egregious, but that's not really surprising either. You can count on the zebras to clusterfarg about one game per series.

Listening to the post-game wrapup on the local radio last night, you could tell the Oilers were pretty disappointed about losing this one, though they were saying all the right things. I think they're also happy to get back to the friendly ice of Skyreach Centre. It will be an absolute madhouse in there on Sunday. TURRRR-CO! TURRRR-CO!
posted by Austin at 5:53 AM

 
Recap, cont.

Now for the really important questions:

1. What was the deal on Don Cherry's suit? I swear, I've never seen a red velvet suit (!) before. Somewhere, somebody's old drapes are missing.

2. How come Dallas gets a saxaphonist to play O Canada? Can't they find anyone to learn the words? At least there wasn't any booing. Let's hope Edmonton fans act with the same kind of class on Sunday.

3. My first question after learning B.J. Thomas sang the American anthem was: he's still alive? I thought it was Michael Bolton with his hair dyed brown.

4. When Don Koharski's announced as a referee for any game, does anyone else automatically flash back to Jim Schoenfeld's comment from 1987? Have to say, though, Donny didn't look like he'd had too many donuts lately.
posted by Austin at 8:07 PM

 
Game 1 Recap

Hey, so what do I know? It wasn't a pretty game, but the Oilers came out on top 2-1. After a rough 1st period, the Oilers started to skate. More importantly, they changed up their forecheck, going away from the hard wraparounds to get the puck away from Turco. And they got some chances as a result, and capitalized on two of them.

Meanwhile, they were shutting down the Stars attack. Hard to believe, but Dallas didn't have many good chances all night. I only counted three good ones for Modano, and two of those came in the first period on power plays. I think they were missing Guerin and Turgeon -- which I probably didn't factor into my predictions as much as I should have. And the end of the game was particularly sweet. Dirty players Claude Lemieux and Derian Hatcher taking amazingly bad penalties. The Stars were short-handed for the last 3:50 of the game, and two men down for about 20 seconds of that time. Very undisciplined for a veteran team, and it cost them.

MacT should be proud of the boys tonight, but there's lots of work to be done. This was a bad game for Dallas, and they'll come back even harder on Friday night. The Oilers need to capitalize on their chances more than they did tonight. And can someone loan them a power play, please?
posted by Austin at 7:25 PM

 
Playoff Pools

As the NHL playoffs start, offices around the country are holding their playoff drafts. Mine's tomorrow, and I thought I'd spend some time providing some of my tips and strategies (I won the regular season pool, so that makes me an expert, right?). Actually, I'll just link you to Eric Duhatschek, who says everything I'd want to say. The key, of course, is to pick the conference finalists, and then pick the top scorers from those teams -- you should finish in the money if you do that.

Easier said than done of course, and especially this year. I think the East is wide open -- any one of the top 6 teams could make the finals. I could even see the Bruins delivering an upset or two with the talent they have up front. I'm focussing on the Devils and the Senators, though I will probably try to pick top scorers off the Flyers, Lightning or Capitals. (I refuse to pick Leafs, because if I do, then I have to cheer for them. Then again, it might help me win money. It's quite a moral dilemma.) In the West, I like the Stars, though not as much as I liked the Wings last year. The Wings should beat Anaheim handily. After that, I'm not sure. Colorado should win, but I also think Minnesota is primed for an upset. I think my fellow draftors will probably take the three big Canucks early, and if you don't get Naslund, Bertuzzi or Morrison, there's not much point. St. Louis is intriguing, and might be a sleeper candidate.

That's is how I'd like it to go. In reality, I'll probably miss out on all my top picks, take too many Europeans, and end up with two players on both of the teams in a first round series. More to come.
posted by Austin at 4:27 PM

 
Playoff Preview

As I write this, it's 35 minutes until the puck drops on Dallas-Edmonton, so I thought I'd get my predictions in. Let me start by stating the obvious: Dallas is the better team. They have better forwards than the Oilers, their defense is just as good if not better, and their goaltending is probably better as well. They are better coached and more suited to playoff hockey. They should win handily.

Now having said that, the Oilers can still win, but several things need to happen. First, and most important, Tommy Salo has to have the series of his life, and he has to be much better than Turco. If Turco is average, the Stars can still win because of their offensive abilities and choking defensive system. If Salo is only average, the Oilers go home in 4 or 5 games. Second, the Oilers need to create chances. The forwards need to use their speed and strength to hammer the Stars' defensemen and get in on Turco before he can handle the puck. And they can't give up, either. They need to skate, skate, skate. Ryan Smyth and Mike Comrie have to play to their abilities. Third, the Oilers have to find an answer for MIke Modano. I'm still having nightmares of Modano's games against the Oilers from playoffs past. The defensive pairing matching up against Modano is perhaps more important than who lines up against him at centre. It sounds like Cory Cross and Eric Brewer will get the call. They also must play the series of their career. Finally, the Oilers need to convert on special teams. In the tighter checking environment of the playoffs, power play goals (and preventing them) become more important. Unfortunately, I don't know how they can fix this now. Hemsky might be able to provide some answers from a playmaking perspective.

So my heart is saying yes, but my head says no. Who wins? Let's put it this way -- I'm still picking Mike Modano first in my office hockey draft tomorrow. Though the Oilers will win one at home and keep it close for most of the way, the Stars are better, and better teams usually win. Stars in 5.
posted by Austin at 4:14 PM

 
Brief CFL Interlude

I'm in a bit of a lull, sports-blog wise. The Oilers have clinched, but there's still over a week until the playoffs start. Baseball has started, but I couldn't care less. (Though I heartily recommend this article about Oakland GM Billy Beane that appeared in the New York Times Magazine. Thanks to Off Wing for the link.) Also, a kind reader has sent me a link to an article that compares the economics of the four major sports. It's a big and informative article, and I'll post a full response in a day or two or three. So in the meantime, and in between time, I'm going to look to the Canadian Football League for a little material.

The word came out today that the Saskatchewan government has granted a loan to the Saskatchewan Roughriders, on very favourable terms. It doesn't appear to be new money -- it's just a reshuffling of existing debt. But the government gives much better terms than private banks do. The Riders only have to pay interest for the next five years, and they have until 2024 to pay off the loan. This also replaces a $3.1 million loan guarantee that the province had issued. I can't see the policy reason behind the loan -- the case for the subsidization of sports teams is pretty thin -- but if a government is determined to throw its money away, I'd rather they subsidize failing football teams than, say, failing potato farms.
posted by Austin at 5:06 PM